• After Training
• Training Contracts
• Some common 'courses'
• An ideal on completion
• What can be explored
• General Training
• What do I look for
• Negotiating training
• Questions to answer
• Reading material
• Training Rules
• Sexual Skills Training
• Other Skills
• Stages of Training
• Starting Training
• Training techniques
• Why do I train

While the most important things in sex are willingness and enthuasism, there are a great many things one can learn to better please a partner, and to get more pleasure themselves. Some of the skills and techniques to learn necessarily involve sex, for there are some things that can only learned by doing them. However there are many skills and techniques that can be practiced alone. Ultimately one of the most important lessons to learn in trying to please someone sexually is how to communicate with your partner(s).

There are two modes of communication that need to be brought up. The first is communication during the act, paying attention to breathing, muscle twitching, overt movement, pace of movement, rhythm, in the case of men rigidity, in the case of women wetness. All of these can show without words whether one likes what you are doing or not. You can learn to read a person to know when they are approaching climax and keep them just at the edge or just when to go into overdrive to take them over the edge. After the activity is done you can talk more specifically about the things that were done by and to you, as well as the things you observed or were observed about you. This will help you learn better to read the person as well as for them to read you.

In addition to communication attitude and enthuasism are two huge aspects to making sex pleasurable both for yourself and your partner. Very very few people will get maximum enjoyment if their parnter is just laying there (though sometimes the bondage the partner may be in can preclude anything else, but that's a special circumstance :). If you don't want sex, you probably shouldn't be having it because it will show and reduce your partners enjoyment. When you do engage in sexual activity, do it with everything you are. Don't let your mind think of anything other than the moment and what you are doing. Leave your fears, inhibitions and thoughts of work/school/family/religion when you start and focus on relaxing and enjoying yourself and pleasing you parther. Sex is supposed to be fun, and to quote my first girlfriend "If it's not messy, you aren't doing it right!"

Now that you're talking to, and listening to your partner and are a willing and enthuastic lover, it's time to work on technique. There are many things that a woman can do by herself to improve her technique, but the ultimate test of this knowledge can only be seen when it is practiced on a living recipient. Some of the possibilities are described below but one need not stop with what I can put into words. Use your imagination and your own firsthand knowledge to suplement the advice I have here, and remember to communicate with your partner to find out what s/he likes best.

It is hard to describe physical techniques, especially as I have not done them as a woman (at least that I can recall - which is only this lifetime). Instead, I shall talk in generalities and provide a few links to more information.

First there are oral skills. I suppose the thing which has most impressed me visually was in an episode of Farscape where the female lead character rippled her tongue, just watching that sent shivers up and down my body. A wonderful friend of mine suggested that another measure of oral skill was the ability to pop a marichino cherry with a stem on it into your mouth, detach the stem and tie it in a knot (she liked to brag of that often), or to place a rolled condom into ones mouth and unroll it down a stiff cock (another feat she claimed she could do with ease but which I never got her to demonstrate for/on me ;). For the more practical most men delight in the idea of being swallowed and having her nose buried in their pubic hair feeling their cock deep in her throat (or at least completely swallowed depending on their own size). This is actually possible for most people to do with patience and practice (not all of which needs to be done on a live person - toys are your friend here). The other thing which is important to please a male orally is rhythm, which is something individual to each person and often each session, so you must pay attention to the results you are creating. I'd write about how to please a woman, but haven't found anything that I can easily explain, and not being one I don't want to try and generalize about anatomy I don't have.

Moving to the vagina, cunt or pussy (so many words, so many shades of meaning, so much fun to be had :), there are many internal muscle groups that most women do not learn to control, just as most people in general do not learn to use the muscles that wiggle our ears. The most basic vaginal exercise is the kegel (sorry for all the extra propaganda on the page, but overall it's very good). Kegel exercises are a solid fundamental to good sexual technique. Simply they are contractions of the vaginal muscles and are well explained on the just mentioned page. There are rumors and fantasies that women who really learn how to use the muscles in their vagina can make a man cum just from their internal movements, and the muscles can be strengthened to a point where bruises can be left on the penis (now, I'm not into that myself, but if you are a Domme or switch, what a wonderful new way to torture a male sub).

One can also learn to use the muscles in her anus to much the same effect as above, though there are only two muscle groups here that are easy to notice.

There are many fringe benefits to learning better control of one's vaginal and anal muscles other than being able to simply give pleasure.

• Heightened awareness of one's own anatomy which often leads to better sensation
• Easy relaxation of the muscles prior to penetration of any kind
• Kegels have often been claimed to help prevent urinary incontinence
• Kegels have also been claimed to help in childbirth

As you can see, there is a lot to do in this area which most simply take for granted. Most of these are things you can primarily do yourself and all are things you can practice with any male partner of your choice.