What I would like to know before getting started
This page is aimed at girls/women
would would like to take the step of introducing themselves to me,
much as I have introduced myself through my pages, as a preliminary
step to talking about her being trained by myself. Anyone is free to
take these questions and use them to get to know any potential
sub/slave/play-partner, all I ask is that you do not claim them to be
your own. The large checklist in the middle of this page is not
original to me, and is quite common though BDSM
negotiations
There are usually several reasons behind each question asked
here. Two of the most common are: I'm a very curious person and
They provide background which will help me to understand you At
the point that I ask you to fill this out, I most likely know you
either not at all, or very little. These questions can also be used as
a benchmark to see where you started from, and are fun to compare to
where you end up.
As personal and detailed as these questions are, they are really just
scratching the surface of getting to know you. People are deep, complex
and often contradictory from the surface. As I desire to train deeply, so
I must know you deeply. One can only control poorly that which they do not
understand. So, please, be detailed and elaborate in your answers and share
as much as you are able. That means share what you are ready to share,
and come back to the rest as you are able to.. Hopefully some of these
questions will make you think... about yourself, or about your interests.
A few basics first:
- When were you born and how old are you?
- Where are you located? (if in school where is school and where is home?)
- Are you currently involved with anyone? If so, how seriously? and how do you
imagine training would fit in with it?
- Do you have any children/dependants that would have to be taken into consideration?
- What first introduced you to the idea of BDSM, and how did that
introduction grow to the point where you are seeking training?
Now, a bit more in depth about you
- Please describe your physical appearance completely, as if you were
standing nude before me, being examined by me. Also include height,
weight, measurement and dimensions of everything, sizes for every
article of clothing, rings, and shoes. Every detail of your appearance
should be described, and you should tell me how your body will react
to touch.
- How do you feel about your appearance? What do you think your best feature is?
Your worst?
- Describe yourself mentally to me.
what are you like?
what do you like to do?
what are your favorite things: color, food, movie, song, group, book
do you smoke, drink, ever do drugs?
- Describe your personality to me. How would you explain yourself?
- How do you feel about your mental makeup? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- How do you use your strengths and hide your weaknesses?
- What are your spiritual and/or religious beliefs? How do you practice them?
- What hobbies do you have?
- What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? the happiest?
the saddest?
- What do you think is the biggest problem in the world today, and how
would you fix it?
- What things are most important in your life?
- What things are you afraid of?
- What are some of the things you most want to do before you die?
- Who do you most look up to? Why?
- Do you believe there is other intelligent life in the universe?
- If you were able to, what would you change about your life, and why?
- What are your biggest accomplishments in your life?
- Any health problems? (allergies, high blood pressure, drug addictions etc)
- What pets would you like to have?
- If you were founding a new country on the ruins of what was once the US,
what principles would you found it on? What would be in your constitution?
- What do you feel most passionately about or belive most strongly in?
- Are you:
- Democrat or Republican:
- Pro-choice or Pro-life:
- Technophobic or Technophilic:
- Logical or Intuitive:
- Introverted or Extroverted:
- What five items would you consider indispensible in your life, and why?
Turning towards the sexual
- Tell me now about your sexual past. Very detailed and specific.
When and how did you lose your virginity?
How many partners? How many M? How many F?
What positions have you done? What did you like/not like?
What are the best things you've tried and places you've had sex?
Overall, what do you like/not like?
Everything else... I should know almost as much as you know
about your sexual experiences.
When was your last AIDS test?
When were you last tested for any other STDs?
- What things turn you on? both mentally - what images, thoughts,
words, etc. as well as physically - where are you most sensitive, how
to touch you, etc.
- What do you prefer in panties - style, material and color?
- What would you wear to seduce someone who you didn't know well but
wanted to take to bed? (and please, be complete)
- What is the favorite piece of lingerie/fetishwear that you own?
That you have seen? (descriptions are good, pictures are better - urls
ok, pictures of you in them would be best ;)
Starting to get into the BDSM
- What do you think slavery will be like?
- Why does it appeal to you/what do you want from it?
- What (if anything) do you fear about it?
- Tell me, in detail, about your previous experiences with slavery or
subbing. Whether irl, or over the phone or net, and whether a committed
slavery or individual scenes. Also tell me about any training you've
had.
- This list should be used as follows:
- Answer YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you
have ever DONE that activity.
- Indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating
it on a scale of 0 to 10 or as a NO. NO means you will NOT do that
item under any circumstances. A zero indicates you have no desire
to do that activity (in fact, may loath it) but you are willing to
do it to please your Master/Mistress/Trainer. 10 means the activity
is a wild turn-on, with the other numbers indicating some level in
between those two. On the same scale also rate how much it scares you.
Activity Done it Turn on Fear
Anal sex : : :
Arm & leg sleeves : : :
Beastiality : : :
Beating soft : : :
Beating hard : : :
Being Blindfolded : : :
Being gagged : : :
Being hypnotized : : :
Being sold (permanent) : : :
Being sold (temporary) : : :
Biting : : :
Breast bondage : : :
Branding : : :
Boot worship : : :
Bondage - light : : :
Bondage - heavy : : :
Breast whipping : : :
Brown showers : : :
Caning : : :
Chaueffering : : :
Chosen food for : : :
Chosen clothing for : : :
Clothespins : : :
Cock worship : : :
Collars (wearing) : : :
Corsets (wearing) : : :
Cuffs (metal) : : :
Cutting : : :
Double penetration : : :
Electricity : : :
Enemas : : :
Examinations (physical) : : :
Exhibitionism : : :
Face slapping : : :
Fantasy rape : : :
Fantasy gang rape : : :
Finding other new slaves : : :
Fisting : : :
Following orders : : :
Foot worship : : :
Forced dressing : : :
Forced homo-sexuality : : :
Forced masturbation : : :
Forced nudity : : :
Forced servitude : : :
Full head hoods : : :
Genital sex : : :
Given away : : :
Golden showers : : :
Hairbrushes : : :
Hair pulling : : :
Hand jobs - getting : : :
Hand jobs - giving : : :
Harnessing : : :
Head - giving : : :
High heel worship : : :
Homage with tongue : : :
Hot waxing : : :
Housework : : :
Human puppy dog : : :
Human toilet : : :
Humiliation in private : : :
Humiliation in public : : :
Ice cubes : : :
Interrogations : : :
Kidnapping : : :
Kneeling : : :
Leather restraints : : :
Lecturing : : :
Licking : : :
Massage - giving : : :
Medical scenes : : :
Modeling (nude/erotic) : : :
Modeling (BDSM) : : :
Mouth bits : : :
Nipple clamps : : :
Nipple weights : : :
Oral/anal play : : :
Over-the-knee spanking : : :
Orgasm denial : : :
Orgasm control : : :
Phone sex : : :
Piercing (temp) : : :
Piercing (perm) : : :
Piss Drinking : : :
Prostitution : : :
Pussy whipping : : :
Pussy worship : : :
Riding crops : : :
Saran wrapping : : :
Scratching - getting : : :
Serving as a pony : : :
Serving as a maid : : :
Sensory deprivation : : :
Serving : : :
Serving as furniture : : :
Serving orally : : :
Sexual deprivation : : :
Shaving : : :
Soap in mouth : : :
Spanking : : :
Speculums (Anal) : : :
Speculums (vaginal) : : :
Spreader bars : : :
Stocks : : :
Straight jackets : : :
Strap-on-dildos : : :
Strapping - full body : : :
Suspension : : :
Inverted suspension : : :
Swapping : : :
Tape gags : : :
Tattooing : : :
Teasing : : :
Tickling : : :
Triple penetration : : :
Uniforms : : :
Including others : : :
Verbal humiliation : : :
Voyeurism : : :
Videoed scenes : : :
Whipping : : :
Wrestling : : :
- What things would humiliate you (Esp. in a way that arouses you)?
- What is your darkest fantasy?
- Rate yourself on the following, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 is high
cooking :
giving a blow-job :
giving a massage :
looks :
intelligence :
creativity :
sensuality :
sense of humor :
exhibitionist tendencies :
ability to keep a promise :
sense of honor :
sense of reality :
sense of balance :
spirituality :
desire to cuddle :
bisexual tendency/desire :
- What would you like to be part of your training? What is it that you want to
seek to learn, try, and/or experience. Be as specific and detailed as you can,
as it would help me a great deal.
- How do you feel about learning/living with other women?
- With these terms and these definitions, which best describes where you want to
go with your submission?
Bottom into play without offering submission/service
Submissive "chooses constantly to submit once" she serves for single actions
only, without giving the expectation of lasting submission. Most often submits in play/scenes.
Slave "chooses once to submit constantly" she has opened up more of her life to another's control as well as setting the expectation that she submits from one time to another.
Note the above say nothing about limits, where they might be for each person, or what anyone
might find acceptible or not
True Slave she has offered herself completely with no limits, no expectations to serve another. May or may not have a time limit upon her service
Pet much like "True Slave" but in a much less human role... she is not treated as though
capable of independant action or higher thought.
Servant she serves willingly to her abilities and talents. The focus is not sexual, but
in being able to better someone else's life
- Is there anything else you feel I should know about you? Anything you
would like to say at this point?
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